This is his wife blogging!


Marrying George Clooney

Awesome, I just found out I am not the only women obsessed with the idea of marrying George Clooney! Someone actually wrote a book about it. Ok, Clooney fans, don’t you go blame my news coverage skills now. I had no reason to know about this seemingly lovely book called Marrying George Clooney by Amy Ferris because a. I am not a feminist and b. I am not menopausal.

But, really I think Amy Ferris did a great job selecting George Clooney for her book because he is the safest bet among celebrities who would not emerge married by the time you finished writing the book. And despite what some people might be getting for spreading wedding rumors like this, they are definitely not getting a married George! *Touchwood*

But why? Why isn’t he married and why is he never getting married? Why did he go the lengths of proclaiming and betting even that he’s never getting married? Well, rhetorically, I could discuss the pros and cons of the institution of marriage itself I guess. But I don’t think it is applicable to George Clooney. He just stands for that decision you make when you got too many choices—choose none!

George’s relationship with Kelly Preston was widely talked about way back in the late eighties. He was the newest most expensive model/actor back then and Kelly was a bit more popular than him already. Thus started the string of high-profile, widely reported relationships George had been in.

George Clooney and Kelly Preston in '88

About Kelly and George? Oh they lived together, they bought a pig, they PDA’d for People magazine and they broke up.

Too bad for Kelly, George got married by the end of the very year (‘89) to Talia Balsam. In Vegas! Maybe Vegas does that to you, getting you to swear off marriage because George did just that a mere three years later, even before the ER popularity bug bit him.

george clooney balsam

Believe me I tried for a better picture, but she was...they that!

About his marriage to Talia Balsam, Clooney said,

“I was 28, and in Kentucky when you get to be that age, you’re supposed to get married, and you know exactly what the marriage should be like. I had this image of marriage. When ours didn’t exactly fit that image, I thought it didn’t work. I wasn’t very bright about it. We had to reconstruct our marriage a little bit, and I wasn’t willing to do that. I walked away. I could have been scared. Maybe I wasn’t ready to be married. It was my fault all the way down the line.”

Well, that was that. Take the blame, give up the money or whatever, but get out. Just get out! Because that is what you do when you are waking up to too many choices. You get out of the existing one 😛

Anyhoo folks, dream all you want about marrying George Clooney, because by the end of that dream, he might have changed his shiny blonde arm-piece, but is definitely not going to sport a shiny band on the finger.

George Clooney Elisabetta Canalis: PDL

Confession: I might be a little snarky in this post and a tad bitchy too. But I promise, dear readers, I won’t repeat it in future posts. Just can’t resist this one though!

Elisabetta Canalis = Attention Whore. Oh dear! I feel bad already. I’m all for femininity and the last book I read was called Power of a Woman,  seriously. But this woman here is no power, I say, but just boobs and booty.  In fact I prefer George Clooney‘s ex-girlfriend Sarah Larson who is abhorred, literally, by bitchy-naggy writers internet-wide. She had such a sweet and (as much) a genuine smile. But everything George Clooney’s current girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis does is for the cameras. I did disapprove of her before and here I’ll prove everything I said!

They supposedly double dated at a restaurant with some friends and soon after George was found lapping the seductress in a bar. Oh well, good for him. But look what she’s doing:

George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis: Rome

Dude, do you want the guy or do you want the cheap camera/most probably cell phone 50 meters away (judging by the resolution)? George’s looking pretty sweet though, isn’t he? 😛

George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis have been everywhere in town, outta town, in the lake, in the beach, in the Europe, you name it! So here are a few more exhibits and I don’t know why I’m doing this. I just need the vent! Poor-sweet-George!

George Clooney and girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis at the screening of Men Who Stare At Goats in Venice

George: Here we are.

Elisabetta: Ohh wait! Lemme whisssper sweet nothings into your ear.

George: Ok…but hurry up.

Elisabetta: Oh, but that is all!

George (to himself): Maybe that’s how the Italians ‘Sardinians’ do it. Just say “sweet nothings” and then…nothing.

Elisabetta (to herself): That should make a great entrance shot. Yippee!

George Clooney and girlfriend

George (to himself): Finally done with the shutterbugs. Now can we go in?

Elisabetta (to herself): I can’t believe it! Did I actually forgot to flash my zillion watt smile from the back view? Its not just about the cleavage Canalis, why can’t you remember that for once!

George Clooney and girlfriend

George: Err…I was in the middle of a toast, but…ah well, at least she’s not doing this again!

George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis on the dance floorGeorge and Elisabetta on the dance floor of hotel Cipriani in Venice

Oh by the way, there’s this funny story about George Clooney’s bandaged hand you can see in the picture above. I’ll put it up in the next post.

George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis

George Clooney Elisabetta CanalisGeorge Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis at the NY Film Critics Awards

So I’ve resolved to talk about all of George Clooney’s girlfriends to get over my obsession for him. Smart move, shrinky says, and I agree. Obviously talking about his galaxy sized love interests would make me realize he’s actually so wrong for me, because of all the bad choices he keeps making (…because he hadn’t found the right one: Me). Anyways, first on my list is Elisabetta Canalis. She is his current anyways. I have to tell you here I’ve been warned by many an article to “read fast because by the time you’re done George Clooney would’ve dumped Elisabetta Canalis.” To be truthful, I read those articles as slowly as I could…but he didn’t dump her still!

George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis met in Italy. She is a TV personality and a model. Ok, ok, you’ve heard all this a thousand times already. So I’ll just quit talking about her in particular. But gladly! At the Oscars, everybody thought George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis were acting a bit smug. I think its just the girl. They attended every freaking premiere of Up In The Air together (or is it just one reported multiple times? Really, someone’s gotta do something about the redundancy on the net) And they hosted parties at George Clooney’s Lake Como house.

Recently George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis were guests at John Krasinski and Emily Blunt’s wedding.

About her he says, ““I’m doing fine… If like’s a journey, then right now I’ve got a very nice co-pilot. I’m not going to project into the future and say I’ve found a co-pilot for life, because I don’t want to jinx things… but I will say that at the moment, I’m having a very nice time being a frequent flyer on Alitalia.”

Whoever came up with “co-pilot” in Up In The Air anyways? I’m sure commitment-phobic men world over are jumping on it right now. And with George, well, does his co-pilot get to choose the destination, ever? His villa in Italy, his award functions, his events, his parties she gets to co-host…seriously, does the girl have a life? You could say that because she was there with him at all those places, she’s ‘seen’ at least. But she would have been just as famous, if Elisabetta Canalis were to be with George Clooney anywhere else in the world! She’s definitely not taking him any places and most assuredly not to bliss land!

More on Miss Canalis’s PDL later. Oh you didn’t know? PDL is Public Display of Lust